I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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