Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize