i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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