you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
