All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
