So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
