sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
