The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
