i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
dude. I can hear the air.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
