I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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