Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize