i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
