why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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