Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize