my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
