you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize