Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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