In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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