Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
