Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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