It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
