i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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