Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
