the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My feet surprised me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
