Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
