I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
