The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
soo... how was my night?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
