we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
