last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My pussy is not your playground.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize