How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
