I skipped work to stalk him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
