y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
