Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
