people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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