i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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