Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
