Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
