I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
