I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
