Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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