Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I need to stop coming to work sober
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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