youre lurking in front of me
we made out on top of his cat.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
