do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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