she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
