he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
