normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
