There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
