Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
