Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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