Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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