Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
