would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Come see our sink grown plant.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize