peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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