When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
