Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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