if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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