How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
