He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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