My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
