tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You made out with two different species that night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
