Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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