lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
