so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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