Taylor Swift is so right about you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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