3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Can i not drive my cunt home
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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