don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
