hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
