I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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